Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah

My future wife goes out alone with other boys should I pull out?

· 5 Ramadan 1422 AH2 min readFatwa 4152English

Question

This year I got engaged to a girl. I thought she was a religious girl. I see her around the city with boys and hugging them. I am told by people who go to her school that she only stays with boys. We are not allowed to talk or meet but I hear about her being alone with talking to and meeting boys. She makes a secret effort to see them. I don't keep any girls as friends because I want to keep that special for her but she is not doing the same. I feel she does not care for me the way I do for her and that religiously we are both going in different directions. Should I end this so that we don't get married and have problems? If I do marry her it will not be because of how strong her Islam is but for some other reason.

Answer

We are advised to exercise patience and restraint only if we are faced with such a problem that has no apparent solution to it. We are not advised to enter into a problem. Rasulallah advised us to make dua for aafiyah (goodness). We are also advised not to make dua for Sabr, as that is indirectly requesting for a problem in order to make sabr.

You are not required to endure patience to the girl you are engaged to if you do not want to marry her due to her loose relationship with boys. Compatibility in marriage is of paramount importance. It is the secret behind a successful and happy marriage. Marriage partners that are not compatible to one another are often engaged in disputes and more unfortunately breaking in the marriage. That creates unbearable grief and agony to the divorce partners as well as many families, friends, and associates. You did not state the other reason besides her Islam to marry her. However, any approach towards

Marriage besides Islam and piety is not an ideal one. You should reconsider that by making Istighfar and seeking the honest guidance of Allah.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

for Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.

Answered by
for Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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Source: Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah — https://askimam.org/public/question_detail/4152
Fatawa SA: https://fatawa.co.za/fatwa/askimam-4152

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