Obedience To Parents
Question
If parents or elders command something that is sinful or harmful, such as telling someone to harm themselves, is it obligatory to obey them? How should a Muslim handle this while still respecting parents?
Answer
It is obligatory to listen to one’s parents as long as their commands do not go against the commands of the Shar’iah. There is no obedience required to the creation if it entails disobeying the Creator. Harming oneself is prohibited in the Shari’ah.
References (Arabic / Urdu sources)
قال تعالى:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ ١٤ وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ، قَالَ : قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : ” لَا يَجْزِي وَلَدٌ وَالِدَهُ، إِلَّا أَنْ يَجِدَهُ مَمْلُوكًا فَيَشْتَرِيَهُ فَيُعْتِقَهُ “.
مسند الامام احمد ٧١٤٣
«كيف بك يا عبدَ اللهِ، إذا كان عليكم أُمَراءُ يُضيِّعونَ السُّنَّةَ، ويُؤخِّرونَ الصَّلاةَ عن ميقاتِها؟»، قال: كيف تأمُرُني يا رسولَ اللهِ؟ قال: «تسأَلُني ابنَ أمِّ عبدٍ، كيف تَفعَلُ؟! لا طاعةَ لمَخلوقٍ في مَعصيَةِ اللهِ عزَّ وجلَّ».
أخرجه أحمد (٣٨٨٩) واللفظ له، وعبدالرزاق (٣٧٨٨)، والبزار (١٩٨٨)
- Answered by
- Mufti Abrar Ahmad Motala
- Checked & approved by
- Mufti Yacoob Vally Saheb
Where scholars differ, it’s safer to take the more cautious view.
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Source: Darul Ifta Ibn Masood — https://fataawa.co.za/obedience-to-parents/
Fatawa SA: https://fatawa.co.za/fatwa/ibnmasood-42661
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