Being uncomfortable around one's in-laws

· 19 Rabiʻ II 1435 AH1 min readEnglish

Question

My father in-law is a very arrogant man and he likes bossing people around. He also swears a lot- I just can't get myself to stay in the same room he is in. I feel very uncomfy because my parents never swore in front of us and never did they shout at us and many a times he complains about me
that I don't speak to him. He even told my husband that I'm rude and have no respect for him. I am a very happy person but since I got married most
things I say he will find a problem with so I just stopped talking when I go to their place. I don't mean like I don't speak to them its more like I will
only speak when they ask something. I feel very out of place at their place as I'm the only daughter in-law. My mother in-law again likes speaking out of turn and will tell people we don't come to them and I don't want them to see the grand kids. We see them once a week. I'm a housewife with no transport and my husband works late and its awkward with small kids at night to go out. He sees his dad everyday as they work together. What do I do in this case? I so many times have the urge to confront them but I just hold back because it would be disrespectful.

Answer

Don’t worry. We feel what you are doing is right. Make du`aa for them and wish well for them.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)
Questions about this ruling, answered only from the archive with sources.

Where scholars differ, it’s safer to take the more cautious view.

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